How to Get Confidence: Work on Your Voice

By working on improving your voice, you will help increase your confidence.  Confidence is simply just being self-assured in many different aspects of your life, to know with certainty that what you do or say is correct.  Confidence across the board in areas like your career, body language, spoken language, written language, social skills, and athletics will help with your overall confidence.  How to Get Confidence: Work on Your Voice Among the many things I touched on in my post on confidence, one thing I emphasized is voice.  Namely, besides our body language, the next thing people judge us and perceive us by is our voice.  Sometimes, someone will hear you long before they see you.  Does the person behind that voice sound confident?  Or, does he sound like a squeaky mouse, trying to say things but not really; meaning, does he say it in a low volume because he is afraid of being heard, for fear of being criticized?  If a voice beams with confidence, naturally the listener wants to look around for the owner of that voice.

It being one of the fundamental building blocks of confidence, we should find and work on ways to improve our voice.  A confident voice is key to moving upwards in life.  People naturally flock to those they perceive as being in control of their own lives, sometimes even looking to them for guidance.  Whether you are giving a presentation at work, coaching a little league team and inspiring kids to follow you as their model, or meeting new people at a networking event, your voice is one of those things that people immediately notice and make judgments about you.

You may have a Ph.D in and wrote the authoritative book on alternative realities, but instead of speaking and acting with confidence because you are THE authority on the topic, you instead sound uncertain, mumbly, and soft when you speak, your creditability instantly takes a hit.

Some men have naturally deep voices.  You have probably noticed yourself being drawn to the sound of their voices, because it somehow sounds more authoritative.  What if you have a medium-pitched or even a lighter-pitched voice?

Fortunately, there is a way to project your voice to make up for these limitations, and that is by projecting your voice correctly.  When your voice is projected properly, it also sounds louder and more certain, which usually equates to authority.  Authority in turn leads to confidence.

So, what’s the correct way to project your voice?  Say something.  Anything.  Okay, I’ll help you out.  Say, “This is the sound of my voice.”

From where does the voice emanate?  Your throat?  If you said yes, then that is the wrong place for your voice to be emanating.  The correct place is from your nasal cavity.  You should hear your voice resonating and vibrating through the nasal cavity.  Not only does speaking from the throat limit the volume of your voice, but it is also damaging to your vocal chords, placing unnecessary strain on them.

To form the air necessary to project that sound, you should be breathing with your diaphragm, that thin sheet of muscle that extends across the bottom of the rib cage.  If you see your chest rise and drop somewhat quickly as you inhale and exhale through your noise, then you are breathing incorrectly.  The easiest way to make sure you are breathing with your diaphragm is to take a deep breath slowly, concentrating on breathing with your belly instead of your chest.  Shallow breaths cause the chest to move quickly.  Deep breaths cause the chest to move slowly.  Breathing through your diaphragm ensures you have a large volume of air with which to project your voice powerfully.  It also has a nice effect of relaxing and calming you.

Be Expressive and Convey Confidence

Ideally, your voice should also be rich with tonality and expressions, with good diction and enunciation.  A robotic sounding voice will put your listener quickly to sleep, and also fails to show the world your beaming personality!  A voice filled with life and energy is a person filled with life and energy.  I am a big believer that the mind naturally follows the body.  So, if you are having a bad day, smile to make yourself feel better.  Talk with enthusiasm and energy.  Soon, that bad day turns into a good day.  A good way to practice injecting emotions and intonations is to read a children’s story out loud and record yourself.  Put some emotions into the words as you speak.  Also, be sure to speak slowly.  Because of shyness and lack of confidence, most people are in such a rush to get their thoughts out that when they do speak in a group setting, they sound hurried and unsure of themselves.  Think about this yourself.  Who would you trust more?

  • The person who speaks fast to get his thoughts out, sounding hurried, incoherent, and uncertain?
  • Or the person who takes his time to form his words with thoughtfulness, then speaks in a slow but confident-sounding tone of voice?

Slowness is powerful.  Men who take their time to do things right look more put together and in control of their lives than men who hurry through life impetuously.  They tend to think things through more carefully, then do things slowly and deliberately, getting them right the first time.

If people have remarked that you speak really fast and have a hard time understanding you, then it’s time to learn to slow down.  People that speak fast often give others the perception that they are nervous or unsure of what they have to say, so they say it quickly to get it over with.  Even if you slowed down your rate of speech so that it sounds painfully slow to you, you might be surprised to find then that you are actually speaking at a normal rate and that it might still sound a little fast.  Of course, when you do say something, sound sure and confident of yourself.  Again, a big part of confidence is to be, well, confident.  Believe in what you are saying.

You can do a lot to improve your voice, as it is one of the fundamental building blocks of confidence.  By breathing with your diaphragm, you are able to inhale more air and push more air through your vocal chords to help produce a richer-sounding voice from the nasal cavity.  Practice your intonation, diction, and speed.  Read out loud.  Even volunteering to read to children at your local library will greatly help with improving your voice.  If children are captivated by your story-telling skills, then you must be doing something right!

So, work on your voice.  Work on how you perceive your voice.  Instead of thinking negatively about it, think positive thoughts.  My voice is my greatest asset.  I sound confident.  I know what I am talking about when I speak.  Change your thoughts, and eventually, you will change who you are.  You will become that confident man.

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  1. Nice and wonderful article about voice. There are many people who lose many opportunities just because of the lack of communication skills and lack of confidence in voice. It has to be there if you want to be successful in your career.

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