Do This to Up Your Confidence: Stop Scanning

Increase Your Confidence: Stop Staring Man!Some people are constantly scanning their immediate surroundings, men more so than women. Men are much more obvious when it comes to scanning because our peripheral vision is much more limited than women’s, as we evolved as hunters. Have you ever watched a man as he goes about his business but is obviously looking at everything and everyone around him, especially women? It is extremely obvious that he is looking. Even with just his eyes moving, one can still tell that he is scanning. It is also a bit creepy. The human eye is extremely sensitive to micro movements. So, even if it is only just another person’s eyes moving back and forth, it is still obvious to an observer. For the person who suddenly realizes that he or she was being watched, it is also a bit disconcerting.

So, if you want to give the appearance of confidence, then start by stop scanning. That is, you are a man who is too busy with his own life to be looking around at what others are doing, and you are a man who is too busy to be looking around as if you are bored. When you look around, obviously staring and gawking at women, you give off creepy vibes, too.

We men are all guilty of this at one point (or more) in our lives. You stare at a pretty girl, only to have her suddenly feel like she is being watched. As she looks up you quickly look back away, pretending to get back to what you were doing. The person who caught you staring no doubt feels a bit unnerved.

It is also creepy. After all, who wants to know that she was being watched for the past few minutes as she was just going about her own business?

Even if you think the other person may not be aware of you watching, it is still obvious to the person being watched that he or she is being watched. I had this experience the other day at my local coffee shop. After I ordered my coffee, I turned around to look for a seat while they were making it. Out of my peripheral vision, as I sat down, I could see the shapes of the other seated patrons. Mind you, I was hardly looking around at anyone in particular. Then, I felt as if I was being watched. Sure enough, I could see a girl had been watching me. Embarrassed that I caught her staring, she quickly looked back down at the laptop she had been working on.

It surely felt a bit uneasy for me. Yet, at the same time it was also very amusing. Somehow, I knew I was being watched. I felt it. Somehow, I knew who was watching me. I thought back to all the times I stared at other people and how it must have felt for them to know that they were being watched.

Some Little Experiments

If you think I am making this all up and it is really far from evident that other people will notice or somehow feel you looking around, staring, then try this little experiment. The next time you are out in a public place, look at something you want to see up close and make a bee-line for it. While doing so, try to observe other people with your peripheral vision. You will notice that they have noticed that you were looking for something. Now, you must refrain from looking at certain people because you will skew the results, as they will notice that you were watching them. So, use your peripherals when you do this.

Now, that was a bit of an extreme example so the next experiment you may want to try is to keep your head upright but scan constantly with your eyes and look at passer-bys as you move through a busy street. Yes, look at people with just your eyes. You will find that other people would have noticed you eyes moving to and fro, and they will look your will because something caught their attention; namely, that you were staring!

Do Maintain Situational Awareness

I am hardly advocating that you go through life looking just in front of you, without a care for your surroundings. Doing so makes you a prime candidate to muggers or opens you up potentially to physical attacks or injuries from passing vehicles and bicyclists. Sure, look around and be mindful of your surroundings but use your peripheral vision. It also helps you to look less of a creepy guy.

More importantly, you look way more confident.

When caught staring and you look away, you just seem unconfident and nervous. It is what shy people do.

So, the lesson is to stop scanning and stop staring. Only do so if you plan to say hello or start a conversation with the other person.

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