3 Signs You Have the Victim Mentality

3 Signs of Victim Mentality

Victim Mentality. The self-limiting belief that somehow the world owes you and is the primary reason why your life is the way it is. In How to Stop Blaming and Start Living Your Life, I discussed in great detail what victim mentality is and how to overcome it. This article is another take on the victim mentality, albeit much shorter and contains the signs you should be on the lookout for to see if you are falling victim.

You Make Excuses

Someone makes a suggestion. Rather than try to implement what they suggested, you instead list reason upon reason why what they just suggested will not work for you. You are making up excuses rather than taking the initiative and the action to make your life better. Your excuses only serve to limit how far in life you can reach. Your friend suggests that if you want to get job XYZ that requires skill ABC, then you should take the time to learn skill ABC.

You retort that you have a hard time learning skill ABC unless it is given to you in a project. But how are you supposed to develop skill ABC if the position to which you are applying requires it but you are lacking it? So, you cannot learn skill ABC to get job XYZ because you cannot find a position (current or potential) that will help you learn skill ABC! What a quandary! Instead of making up excuses, break out of this vicious loop of going nowhere and start taking responsibility for yourself. Because you know what? No one else really gives a damn whether you do or not. You can continue to complain about where you are and how you are getting nowhere. Or, you can start developing the skills to get you somewhere. It’s your choice.

To change where we want to go in life, we must change our beliefs and mindsets, the very same ones that got us to where we currently are in our lives.


You Blame Other People or Things for Your Circumstances

Have a hard time finding a job? You blame the economy. Have a hard time presenting yourself as the best employee for an advertised position? So you instead blame your current employer for failing to provide you the proper training or experience with which to get the job. Have a hard time getting your business up and running so that it becomes profitable? So, you instead sit back and blame factors that are seemingly beyond your control and rationalize why your business is still stagnant and a money pit rather than a money well.

As you have well noticed by now, what is in common with each and every one of these examples is blame. Blaming is easy. When you blame, you effectively surrender control and responsibility of your life to someone else. When you do this, you remove accountability from yourself. You no longer have the impetus and motivation to improve yourself or make changes so that you can get what you want out of life. Is this what you really want? Do you really want to sit back and let life control you when you should be at the oars piloting the boat as best you could?

You Lack Abundance

The world is scare. Good jobs are scare. Good mates are scare. Resources are somehow scare and you must do everything in your power to fight for and maintain what you have.

To live in abundance is a 180-flip on the scarcity mindset. After all, how many sly salesmen have used the scarcity principle to motivate and affect your emotions so you will buy what they want to sell? The moment you realize that good  jobs, good mates and good resources are in abundance will be the day you feel free.

Initiative! Initiative!

What each of these telltale signs have in common that show you have the victim mentality is a lack of initiative. You are making up excuses rather than taking the initiative and the action to make your life better. Your excuses only serve to limit how far in life you can reach.

Stop living passively and start taking initiative in your life to make things happen. Sometimes all it takes to break yourself out of the cycle is to dive in nose-first with action-taking.

The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit

Maintain Vigilance

If you are able to stand back and objectively determine the signs of victim mentality, then congratulations! The funny thing about victim mentality, though, is you think you may have overcome it only to find it subtly sneaking back up on you. So, you should constantly maintain vigilance and beat it down before it takes you over again.

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  1. Great post! Great tips for self improvement.

  2. Interesting post 🙂 The most important message for me is in the last paragraph, and that’s the importance of vigilance as it can be so easy to fall back into victim mentality. I’ve witnessed myself in blaming mode in the last few weeks, and it’s not comfortable to realise it AFTER the event :/ but I’m taking steps now to look back over my behaviour and the circumstances that led up to the blaming session. Thanks for the support!

  3. You’re right! You can’t get anywhere by blaming others or life, itself, because just doing so gives away your power to change things for the better.

  4. I like it. Think abundance, feel abundant, and good things will happen for you as you move into abundant actions. Thanks!

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